Standing on my soapbox…
We’re back to the Mendoza line, folks! After going 3-1 last week, I’ve got momentum heading to this week’s game. I woke-up Sunday morning with a hunch about certain teams and therefore made myself a 3-team parlay Sunday Fun Day Bet. I took Carolina, the NY Giants, and Tampa Bay. Unfortunately Tampa couldn’t cover but it made for an exciting Sunday. I’d like to thank, Kara, for getting me off the ledge last Sunday as I felt the Eagles were going downhill. She quickly reminded me that the season is way too early and there’s a lot of football to be played.
I’m feeling good about this weekend. We had a day of rain, which was a good segway to brisk fall weather in sunny Los Angeles. Columbus Day is Monday so yours truly will be on the golf course working on his swing. Residents of Tulsa, celebrate my friend’s birthday, by getting out of her way when she’s on the road. She’s got a new car and the road is her oyster. Happy birthday, Molly!
This is the first week with Bye’s so I’m going to do 6 games this week:
NEW ORLEANS (-6) at CAROLINA- Cam Newton is quickly becoming the King of the Back-Door Covers! In Game 1 of my 3-team parlay Sunday Fun Bet, I took the Panthers on a hunch that they would cover against the Bears. I was fuming when ther Bears scored on a Marion Barber run inside of 2 minutes with the Bears having the game already in hand. Cam saved the morning by somehow willing the team to score a TD with 10 seconds left. What a way to cover!!! This Sunday, he faces the explosive offense of the Saints, who I figure will blitz the hell out of Cam. Look for a high-scoring game and I think New Orleans will win but Cam covers. I figure defenses have not caught up to him yet so I’m riding the Panthers for a couple of weeks. TSS PICKS: CAROLINA
TENNESSEE at PITTSBURGH (-3.5)- The Paul Giamatti’s did it again! They easily took care of the Browns last Sunday and are starting to turn heads. I still like them coming out of the AFC South even with Kenny Britt out for the year. While watching last week's game with my buds, Jimmy and Goldenberg, we realize how under-rated Matt Hasselbeck is. We’ve now dubbed him Oven-Roasted Chicken and here’s why. Oven-Roasted Chicken is a staple in all American cuisine restaurants, but you never order it because it’s not exciting. It’s not until you actually order the chicken or you order something else (which wasn't very good) that you realize how good chicken is and that’s what you get out of Hasselbeck. You don’t know how good he is until you watch him play. Pittsburgh is coming off a bad loss to Houston last week. Big Ben, or as Jimmy calls him, W.C. Fields, is playing with an injury, Harrison is out with a broken orbital and Troy Polamalu is not the Troy of years ago. Oven-Roasted Chicken and the Giamatti’s win again! LOCK OF THE WEEK TSS PICKS: TENNESSEE
SEATTLE at NY GIANTS (-10)- The Giants helped secure Win 2 of 3 in my aforementioned Sunday Fun Bet with a come-from behind win against the Cardinals. I didn’t think the Giants would have beaten the spread so stoppe watching the game. Yes, I know, I foolish. Has anyone noticed how quitely Eli Manning is putting together a solid 1st half of the season? Everyone was counting out the Giant’s D for being dissemated with injuries but in traditional G-Men fashoin, they are winning. It seems as though they can line-up any WR and they’ll get the job done. The Seahawks come to the Big Apple on Sunday looking for a win. Tavaris Jackson almost led Seattle to an improbable come-from behind victory over Atlanta last week. That was last week in Seattle and this is this week and the Seahawks are without their 12th man. Without the 12th man, the Seahawks are like the hamburger at a Mexican restaurant- it’s just not any good. Sorry to say this, Seth, but the Giants will cover handsomely. By the way folks, get Die-ner (Get It?) ,a great movie for your Halloween festivites, Nothing says Halloween like watching a good zombie movie- Highly recommended!! TSS PICKS: NY GIANTS
PHILADELPHIA (-3) at BUFFALO- The Bills came back down to reality last week with a sub-par performance from everyone. It was the trademark trap game as Buffalo was coming off the emotional win against New England. I am, however, noticing a trend with Buffalo. It seems that when they’re the dogs, they seem to cover (i.e. wins vs. KC and NE) and when they’re the favorites, they don’t cover (i.e a win vs Oakland and a loss vs. Cincy). They’re the dogs this week against the Eagles, which I don’t understand how (this line might move to Philly -1 towards kickoff). My Iggles are having an identity crisis. They’re resembling the Red Hot Chilli Peppers era with Dave Navarro- a lot of talent but can’t seem to mesh. That era didn’t bode well for the Peppers but let’s hope it’s not the same for the Eagles. They’re 17-18-1 when DeSean Jackson doesn’t score, He scores this weekend, the Eagles win but they don’t cover. TSS PICKS: BUFFALO
OAKLAND at HOUSTON (-6)- Oakland was not able to go mano-a-mano against New England. If you recall, I told you to take the Patriots since their average margin of victory following a loss is 17 points. Oakland gets another strong test this weekend as they travel to Houston. I’m still not sold on Houston and it doesn’t help that Andre Johnson will be out for this game. This has the making of an old-school grind it out game- Oakland’s specialty. I look for the Raiders to pound the ball with McFadden leading the way. Eric LaSalle (Jason Campbell) needs to avoid making costly errors as do all the Raiders, who seemed to always be their own worst enemy, In wacthing last Sunday’s games with my friends, I realized everyone has a city that they don’t care for. Maybe they’ve never been or maybe they have, but ask yourself what city makes your skin curl? There really is no rhyme or reason for the dislike. For me it’s Houston. I ‘ve never been to Houston but I don’t care for the city. Maybe because the Astros were always defeating the Dodgers when I was a boy, maybe it was the Rockets winning back-to-back championships in the 90’s, I don’t know- I don’t care for them. The only good thing I can say about Houston is that their Children’s Hospital is one of the best. I’ll tip my hat to the fine folks there. I’m digressing so let’s get back to the game. JUST COVER BABY!! TSS PICKS: OAKLAND
CHICAGO at DETROIT (-6): The Davis-Guidish residence will be rocking and rolling this Monday night as this household is split down the middle in a battle of NFC North foes. I kept telling Jimmy to wait for Detroit’s comeback after trailing at halftime against the Cowboys and wouldn’t you know, those cracy Lions won the game!! This week, the Lions are going for blood against Jimmy’s Bears. You think the Lions have forgotten about the botched call in Week 1 of last year?! Oh no my friend, they haven’t! The Bears will counter will the versatile but never appreciated Matt Forte. Forte is like that great girlfirend you once dated, You know the one I’m talking about, The girl was always there for you, she listened enthusiactially to your never-ending stories about sports, she killed her Sundays to watch football with you, hell, she even cared for your ass when you were sick. When you broke up, you realized how good she was and you couldn’t do anything about it. The never-appreciated Forte will do everythng in his power to beat the Lions. Can anyone stop Calvin Johnson? The guy is in beast-mode right now!! How can I go against the Lions?! They’re my ugly ducklings from last year and I’m still reaping the rewards! Fun side bet: How many texts will Jimmy get from his future step-dad-in law during the game? The over/under is 50! TSS PICKS: DETROIT
In closing, I’d like to take this time to thank all the teachers out there who help shape our future scientists, doctors, lawyers, poets, writers etc. Wednesday was Teacher Appreciation Day but I’m am advocate for everyday being Teacher Appreciation Day. While we have athletes bitching about money, teachers are taking pay cuts or taking money out of their own pockets to pay for supplies for your kids. You think it’s hard dealing with your kids- try dealing with 25 other kids! Teachers have a passion for helping kids. I tip my hat to you, teachers, Life’s Oven-Roasted Chicken!!
Stepping down from my soapbox…
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