Friday, February 3, 2012

Super Bowl, Baby!

Standing on top of my soapbox…

Since the last posting, a lot of events have transpired.  Here's a quick little recap: Demi Moore almost OD (Alex, send your girl some flowers),  Tebow-mania went wild on the Steelers,  Clint Dempsey became the first American to ever record a hat trick in the English Premier League (EPL), Heidi Klum has filed for divorce (Heidi, it's not your fault), and scapegoats were key on Championship Sunday, which brings us to the Super Bowl!!

This Sunday, on the grandest stage in the world, we, as Americans, will prove why the rest of the world envies or despises us.  First, the over indulgence of food, especially comfort food that will be consumed should be enough to feed everyone in Somalia.  Second, the exorbitant amounts of money companies spend to pimp their products in commercials could easily be used to keep California out of the red. Finally, we will use this great stage to showcase our national sport to the rest of the world which doesn't understand our intricate rules.  What do I say to the rest of the world?! USA!! USA!! USA!! 

The Super Bowl is so much more than the game itself.  I will be remised if I didn't mention the food.  There's the numerous amounts of dips, salsas, guacamoles and cheeses that complement the crunchy chips and savory crackers.  Not to mention the first sip of that cold-refreshing beer after biting into the bratwurst that's been simmering in peppers and onions.  The burger with its juice flowing down your finger holds on to that once-thick slice of cheddar like two lovers hugging for the last time.  The creamy taste of ranch dressing neutralizes the spicy heat of the buffalo wing that's been running through your head during your morning workout.  Your taste buds shout “Hallelujah” as it savors the carnitas taco filled freshly chopped onions and cilantro with the little squeeze of lime that opens the flavor of the slow cooked pork.  The calming effect of a salted margarita on the rocks that women get knowing this will be the last football game of the year and starting tomorrow, their men will be available on Sundays.  Did I also mention it's also one of the biggest social parties of the year? 

Super Bowl parties are a great way to meet new people. Hell, it's even a way to start an extra-marital affair (as seen in The Descendants).  You don't believe you can meet someone...please keep reading.  Guys, you will introduce yourself to any woman who makes a Downton Abbey  or The Artist reference. Trust me on this one.  Ladies, any guy who references Hugo or takes the time to explain the game especially the intricacies is well-deserving of your phone number and time.  Extra points if said guy is a fan of either football team.  You'll thank me later.  Avoid anyone who likes the Kardashian show, can't wait to see the new Nic Cage movie or the ever-dangerous double dipper.  The only unwritten party rule one should always follow- don't go home with the beer or food that you brought to the party.

By now we all know the New England Patriots and the New York Giants will be playing on Super Sunday for the chance to be crowned NFL champions.  There are a myriad of storylines to this year's Super Bowl.  From the Patriots looking to avenge their SB loss to the Giants 4 years ago to Eli Manning vying for a second championship ring in the house that big brother, Peyton Manning, built to the hilarious commercials, this game will have something for everybody.

If you're like me, you'll have put your name in a football pool.  If you didn't like the numbers the football pool gods handed you, there's still plenty of ways to spend little Joey's college fund. First, take the OVER on the singing of the national anthem (currently at 1:34).  Kelly Clarkson will hit it out of the ball park!!  The Patriots will win the toss on HEADS.  The Giants will receive the opening kick-off.  Take the OVER on the total number of sacks in the game (4.5).  I really like the BenJarvis Green-Ellis odds (15/2) of being the first TD of the game.  He has yet to fumble this year.

As far as the game itself, Patriots -3, I'm absolutely torn.  How much impact will Gronkowski's ankle affect his performance?  Even if he plays, how's his timing with Brady?  Every Brady Super Bowl victory has been by less than 3 points.  If you give Belichick two weeks to prepare, he has plenty of time to correct the team's flaws from the regular season loss.  I don't remember Brady ever having 2 bad games.  Eli is playing out of his mind right now, anyone is smart enough to take the Giants, right?  If I take the Giants, how will Bradshaw's injury (he missed Wednesday's practice) affect the Giants' running game?  The 2 weeks off is the modern day "Cooler" and it will hurt the Giants play.  The Patriots are playing for the memory of Myra Kraft; they’ll show up for this game.  See this is what goes on inside my head.  I couldn't take it so I enlisted the help of my friends to help me pick.

Here are my friend's picks (some with their exact text):

Andrew Bressler:  Patriots

Claudia Ceron:  Giants it is, anti Brady all the way!

Fernando Amarillas:  Patriots win

Andy Goldenberg: Hate to say it.  Kills me to say it.  Don't want to say it.  Would rather not say it.  Why are you making me say it?  Not the NY Giants.

Angel Fajardo:  Giants

Molly Rambach: Ummm neither lol

Jimmy Guidish: Dude, I honestly could give a shit who wins.

Alex Aguilar: Patriots

Seth MartinI'm taking the Gmen for sure. Mark it down as the Martin lock of the season.

Kara Cahill: Giants

Norman Starr: Patriots

Crockett Woodruff:  Patriots. They're looking for revenge from their last Super Bowl matchup.

Shaun Lagadi: Giants

Efrain Gutierrez: Pats and the under (54)

Courtney Yingling: Ha! Hmmm...Giants.

Daniel Rodriguez: Giants

Dan Everakes:  Giants for sure.  Down goes Brady.

Bud Light MarkGiants, I like it big.

Chris Foster: Giants

Ken Nguyen: Giants

SOAPBOX SPEAKER: I'll never bet against The Man! Patriots! USA! USA! USA!

Stepping down from my soapbox...