Friday, December 16, 2011

Adios, Mendoza line

Standing on top of my soapbox…

After my bye week (hey if NFL teams have them, why can’t I?), I’ve been re-energized and ready to go.  This week’s piece was initially intended to be a Friend’s picks blog where I asked some of my friends to pick the games, but I’d figured we would make it next week to tie into Christmas, Chanukah and Festivus. This week I’m determined to leave the Mendoza line once and for all!

Let’s go to the games shall we…

Overall: 27-27

WASHINGTON at NY GIANTS (-7): What a comeback by Eli Manning and the Giants over the Cowboys last week!! Can we start giving this man his just deserves!  Eli has been quietly putting together an MVP season with a less-than-stellar receiving corps.  No disrespect to Victor Cruz, Mark Ballard or Mario Manningham, but they aren’t Greg Jennings, Jermichael Finley, or Jordy Nelson.  They was a play in the 4th quarter when Eli threw the ball to Manningham in stride and in the numbers- MY GOD it was an immaculate throw but Manningham didn’t catch it. 

This week the Giants host the Redskins in what promises to be an NFC clash.  Look for the Giants to get an early lead but Rex Grossman will find a way to backdoor cover.  Plus, it’s a division game and the Giants are coming off an emotional win.  By the way, has anyone outside of Washington suddenly noticed a re-emergence from not only Grossman but from Jabar Gaffney?  Maybe it was my 3rd Bloody Mary… TSS PICKS: WASHINGTON

MIAMI at BUFFALO (-1):  There are a couple of teams that have flat out quit this season.  They’ve mailed it in and have taken that bum, Ricky Waters’ motto, “For what, for whom?”  It’s plain fully obvious.   Aside from Tampa Bay, Buffalo is another team that has already quit.  The once-hyped team (my 2011 Ugly Duckling candidates), have gone on the proverbial downward spiral since re-signing Ryan Fitzpatrick. (Where the hell was this team when they were playing my beloved Iggles??!!)

Miami, on the other hand, is running away with the 2011 Ugly Duckling title.  They’ve covered at least 2/3 of their games, were on a 3-game win streak, and have not thrown in the towel.  If that doesn’t spell out Ugly Duckling, then I don’t know what does.  I like Miami, playing inspired ball, despite the fact that Sparano was let go earlier this week.  Matt Moore, Devon Bess, and Reggie Bush circle the wagon on the hapless Bills.  TSS UPSET PICK OF THE WEEK: MIAMI

CAROLINA at HOUSTON (-6.5):  I really should stay away from this game.  This one has bad news written all over it.  Have you ever been getting your ass handed to you at a blackjack table but your ego wouldn’t let you walk away?  You know what I’m talking about.  You get 2 face cards and the dealer pulls a 21 out of a face card a 4, a 2, a 5.  Beats like that continue for the next 10 games and while your friends are urging you to walk away, you tell them to politely “fuck off” (in Ef’s and Shaun’s  cases, they’ll  say “Just go”).  What happens next is you take the walk of shame to the ATM machine to get money and to try your luck somewhere else.

Houston is the blackjack dealer that’s been killing me all year.  I haven’t been a fan (as evidenced in the Week 3 blog), but they seem to win and cover week after week.  This week will change though.  Wade Phillips’ untimely leave of absence (“Feel better, Wade”) will have an effect on the Houston D.  Keep in mind that Cam Newton is a beast when he’s running the ball. Though Carolina is torrid on the road, look for them to at least cover.  TSS PICKS: CAROLINA

NEW ENGLAND (-7) at DENVER: The Ambassador of Nice Guys, Tim Tebow, goes up against The Man.  I’m salivating at this game because both offenses are fun to watch.  The unpredictability of Tebow and the execution style of Brady are sure to make this game exciting.  Hell, I mean, heck, I’m going on a limb and saying that this could be a preview to an AFC Playoff game or an AFC Championship game.  After I give you this fun fact, you’ll know who I’m going with.  The Man is 1-5 overall against Denver.  You think The Man doesn’t know this.  You think he won’t be focused on this game.  Another point of inspiration for The Man: Brian Griese , the guy who started in place of The Man at Michigan, is a radio analyst for the Broncos.  You think The Man won’t be inspired to play well in front of Griese.  You think Bellichick will play “Prevent “defense in the 4th quarter? No way, Jose!   I like Tebow, heck I’m a self-proclaimed Tebow-ciple and I know that Jesus is Denver’s 12th Man, but I love The Man.  TSS PICKS: NEW ENGLAND

NY JETS at PHILADELPHIA (-3):  A couple of weeks ago, I wrote off my beloved Eagles for losing to Seattle but more importantly quitting this season.  The Eagles won an impressive game against the Dolphins and they’ve suckered me back in.  Call me delusional, but I think there’s one more fight in them.  Remember, Vick is somewhat healthy again and if they feed the ball to LeSean McCoy and get Desean Jackson involved, the Eagles should be able to exploit the void left from injured SS Jim Leonhard.  Philly wins comfortably…GULP

Note to NY Giants and Dallas fans:  Should the Eagles win and either one of your team loses, the Isley Brothers’ Footsteps in the Dark will be in your head as the Eagles will be a game back from your team.  I’m getting ahead of myself, but…

In closing, if you have the holiday blues or just haven’t gotten into the holiday mood, I must suggest you give James Brown’s holiday album, Santa’s Got A Brand New Bag. He’s James Brown, the Godfather of Soul…

Stepping down form my soapbox…

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