Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Sweet home, Mendoza line

Standing on top of my soapbox…

Home Sweet Home!  After two terrible and ill-advised weeks, I have made my humble return to the Mendoza Centeno line.  Hoping to shake the previous week’s dreadful result, I’d figure last week’s picks were slumpbusters.  Boy was I wrong-the slump continues as I went 2-4 last week.  What’s even worse for yours truly is the fact that the Eagles lost on Monday night.  Can it get any worse?!  After much soul searching, a couple rounds of Catchphrase with friends, and an all-you-can eat Korean BBQ (for $10 by the way!!), I realized the problems with my picks.  I was all over the board, picking teams off the radar and flying by the seat of my pants.  So for this week, since I’m back home at the Centeno line, I’m going with old faithfuls.

Among the highlights from last week:  The Patriots and The Man lost 2 in a row for the first time since the Carter administration, Tebow t-boned the Raiders D for a victory,  Brees and the Saints marched over the Bucs, the Ravens chanted “Nevermore” as they left Heinz Field victorious, and Shaun Lagadi’s Packers pack-attacked the Chargers in a rain-soaked field in San Diego.

OAKLAND at SAN DIEGO (-7): After his abysmal debut two weeks ago, the only direction for Oakland’s Carson Palmer was up.  Though he did improve, little did he know that Tebow running the option what was eventually going to separate him from his first victory as a Raider.    McFadden has been ruled out which means Michael Bush will start again, which I think he’s more than capable of doing.  If there was ever a game to mirror a team’s record over the past 3 years, then last week’s San Diego/Green Bay game was said game for San Diego.  They started off slow and tried to mount a comeback after falling behind 21-7 at the end of the 1st quarter.  At the end, the comeback fell short thanks to a questionable pass from Rivers.  Did anyone notice that San Diego used a silent count last week at home? At home, everyone!  I expect the Chargers to win this game and cover.  It’s hard to go against the Chargers in November and Carson Palmer is still trying to shake the rust off.  TSS PICKS: SAN DIEGO

JACKSONVILLE (-3) AT INDIANAPOLIS: I have deemed Indianapolis as the whipping boys of the NFL. They are horrible against the run and their offense is torrid.  They look destined to win the Luck Sweepstakes.  Jacksonville, coming off a bye, will make one-last attempt at being a contender for the AFC South.  What the hell am I saying?! Pick Jacksonville on the sole fact that they can run the ball with Maurice Jones-Drew. TSS PICKS: JACKSONVILLE

DETROIT at CHICAGO (-3): My Ugly Ducklings of 2010 are back from a bye and wouldn’t you know it, they’re dogs in this game.  Chicago impressed me last week with their victory against my Iggles.  What I have been preaching to Jimmy Guidish all year about Matt Forte came true last week.  The guy is an absolute beast!  I’ll take Matt Forte any day on my team.  Coming back to this game, I’m skeptical about the Lions rushing attack or lack thereof.  Jahvid Best’s injury is starting to take its toll.  I think if there was ever a good time to have a bye, then last week was it for the Lions. The bye week also gave Detroit’s Matthew Stafford extra time to get his ankle healed.  This will be Chris Harris first game against his former team, the Bears.  I see Chicago winning but my Ugly Ducklings covering.  TSS: DETROIT

NEW ENGLAND at NY JETS (-1): This will be a classic AFC East game  with these teams tied with Buffal o for the AFC  East lead.  I don’t think  I’ve ever I bet against The Man when his team was the dog.  Last week’s, Patriots/Giants game was a classic!!  Congrats on the win, Ms. Cahill, you’ve separated yourself in the NFC East! The Man looked jittery and out of sync last week, which is very uncharacteristic of him.  The Jets shut me up last week with their win against the Bills.  It was a classic beat-down from Rex Ryan’s team.  Did anyone see Mark Sanchez flinch as he was lining up as a WR last Sunday?  Check it out- it’s at the 35 second mark: (   

Look for Revis to be locked up against Wes Welker all game long, while the Jets’ D will try to stop the law firm of BenJarvus Green Ellis and his committee of running backs, and they will try to continually disrupt The Man’s timing.  On the Patriots side, look for short dump-offs from The Man to his TE’s.  Lastly, expect a significant play from Plaxico Burress in this game.  Even after a 2 game skid, I’d never bet against The Man when he’s a dog.  TSS UPSET PICK OF THE WEEK: NEW ENGLAND

In closing, Gentlemen, there are a few rules that a man should always follow without any doubt.  You never hit a dog or a cat; they’re defenseless animals and more importantly a member of your family.  You never take advantage of elders; they paved the way for younger generations and deserve nothing but respect.  You never hit a woman; regardless of how upset you are.  Like Tupac once said, “We all came from a woman and got our name from a woman”.  The last one- YOU NEVER EVER SODOMIZE OR ABUSE A CHILD!!!! There is no excuse to this!! This week’s horrible news about 8 children sexually abused by Jerry Sandusky, a one-time Penn State Defensive Coordinator, made me sick.  This monster abused his position as an authority figure and he must pay for his actions!!  These victim's lives were forever changed when they were violated against their will.  It doesn’t help that Penn State swept it under the rug for so long.  Penn State, especially Joe Paterno, you should be ashamed of yourself!!

I’m a pacifist and all-around good natured man.  But sexually abuse a kid, you and me have problems, buddy!!  My heart goes out to these victims and these are only ones we should be worried about.

Stepping down from my soapbox…

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